How to keep in touch with your network without being a nuisance

To keep in touch with your network without being a nuisance, sort your contacts into three tiers with different rhythms, get in touch only when you have a genuine reason (usually something useful to them), keep each message short and easy to ignore, and put the next date in your CRM so it does not rely on memory. A ten-minute monthly review keeps it going. This post sets out the system, with reasons to reach out and example messages.

Why keeping in touch matters

The value of a professional relationship often arrives months or years after you meet: a referral, a job, an introduction, a client who remembers you when the timing is finally right. That only happens if they still remember you. Networks usually fade through simple neglect, so a light, regular rhythm is enough to keep yours alive.

Three tiers, three rhythms

You cannot stay close to everyone, and you do not need to. Sort the people you know into three groups:

Keep the close tier small, around twenty to thirty people, or it stops being close. Review the tiers every few months; people move between them.

Reasons to get in touch

The best messages have a reason that is about them. A list to draw from:

• Something they told you. "How did the warehouse move go?"
• Their news. A new role, a launch, a funding round, an award, a talk they gave.
• Something useful. An article, a report, a tool or an event relevant to what they care about.
• An introduction. Someone they should meet, with both people's agreement first.
• A question they can answer. People generally like being asked for their view on something they know well.
• Seasonal moments. A new year, the end of a busy season, a big industry event.
• Your own genuine news, occasionally, when it is relevant to them.

Example messages

Following up on something they told you:

Hi Siobhan, I was thinking about our chat at the ops meetup. How did the move to the new onboarding system go? Hope the spring peak was calmer than last year.

Congratulating them:

Congratulations on the new role, Tom! They're lucky to have you. Hope the first few weeks are going well.

Sharing something useful:

Hi Priya, saw this piece on hiring a first salesperson and thought of our conversation: [link]. The section on commission was the useful bit. No need to reply.

Asking for their view:

Hi Amara, quick one: we're deciding between two finance systems for a client, and I remember you had strong views on one of them. Would you have five minutes this week to share them?

Reconnecting after a long gap:

Hi Dan, we met at the Leeds digital meetup a few years ago, when you were at the warehouse software firm. I saw your post about your new company. Congratulations. Would be good to catch up if you are ever up for a coffee.

Notice that every message is short, specific, and easy to answer or ignore.

Introductions: the most generous move

Introducing two people who should know each other is one of the most valuable things you can do for your network, and they will remember who did it. Use a double opt-in:

1. Ask each person privately first. "I know someone who has just been through the same supplier change. Would an introduction be useful?"
2. If both say yes, send one short email to both, with a line about each and why they should talk.
3. Step back. Let them take it from there.

The follow-up templates guide has an introduction template ready to copy.

What makes it feel like nuisance

• Messages that are really about you: "Just checking in" followed by a pitch.
• Automation that pretends to be personal: the same "thought of you" message sent to two hundred people.
• Asking without giving: only getting in touch when you need something.
• Too often for the relationship: a monthly message to someone you met once.
• Adding them to a newsletter without asking. That counts as electronic marketing, which in the UK has its own rules under PECR.¹

Staying visible without posting every day

Messages to individuals are the core of keeping in touch, but a little visibility in public helps too. It means people see your name between messages, and it gives them easy reasons to get in touch with you.

• Comment thoughtfully on posts from people in your close and useful tiers. A real comment ("We tried the same approach last year; the hard part was getting the drivers to use it") does more than a like.
• Share what you learn, occasionally. A short post about a useful talk, a lesson from a project or a tool you rely on gives people something to reply to.
• Celebrate other people's news in public as well as privately, when they are happy for it to be shared.
• Turn up. Going back to the same meetup or community every few months is one of the simplest ways to stay in touch with a whole group at once. You do not need to say much; being a familiar face does a lot of the work.

You do not need a posting schedule. Once or twice a month is plenty if what you share is genuinely useful.

When someone goes quiet

Not everyone will reply, and that is fine. People get busy, change jobs and switch off for a few months.

• Do not take silence personally, and do not chase a keep-in-touch message. It was not a request.
• Move them down a tier if you have had no reply to the last two or three messages over a year.
• Leave the door open. A congratulations message when they change role is always welcome, even after a long gap.

The ten-minute monthly review

Once a month, put ten minutes in your calendar:

1. Look at your close tier. Anyone you have not been in touch with for two months? Send one of the messages above.
2. Scan your useful tier for anyone due, or anyone with news (LinkedIn is useful for this).
3. Set the next date on each person you contacted.
4. Tidy up. Delete records for people you no longer have any reason to stay in touch with. A smaller network you actually maintain is worth more than a large list you never look at, and UK GDPR expects you not to keep personal data longer than you need it.²

Combine it with your weekly CRM hygiene routine and it takes almost no extra time.

Use your notes

Every message above depends on remembering something about the person: what they were working on, their news, the human detail. That is why the note you write when you first meet someone matters so much. See what to write in your notes after meeting someone.

How Shmor helps

Keeping in touch starts with a good record. When you meet someone, send Shmor a card photo, screenshot or voice note on Telegram, or forward their email, and it saves the person and company to ShmorCRM, Attio or HubSpot with your note and a follow-up task. To set a keep-in-touch reminder, reply to the person's card:

Follow up in three months, ask how the warehouse move went.

Shmor creates the task with that date and description, so the reason to get in touch is waiting for you when the time comes.