How to meet more people at a networking event: preparation, scripts and jokes that work

To meet more people at a networking event, prepare a short goal and a target list, arrive early, stand where people pass, join open groups rather than closed pairs, open with a question better than "what do you do?", keep your intro to ten seconds, and leave each conversation warmly after a few minutes so you can start the next. Light, kind humour about yourself or the event helps. Capture each person before you walk into the next conversation. This post covers each step with exact lines you can use.

Before the event: ten minutes of preparation

Set a goal you can count

"Network more" is not a goal. Pick something you can tick off by 9pm:

• three good conversations, each ending with an agreed next step;
• meet two specific people from the guest list;
• find one potential partner in a particular industry.

A small goal makes it easier to start and gives you permission to leave once you have hit it.

Look at the guest list and the speakers

Many events publish a speaker list, and event apps often show attendees. Pick three to five people you would most like to meet and note one thing about each: a recent post, a talk they gave, a product they launched. That gives you a natural opener: "I saw your post about hiring your first salesperson. How did it go?"

Tidy your LinkedIn

People will look you up, often while you are still talking. Make sure your headline says what you do in plain words, your photo looks like you, and your current role is right. Have your LinkedIn QR code one tap away in the app.

Prepare your 10-second intro

More on this below. Write it, say it out loud twice, and you will not stumble on it later.

Arrive early

The first 20 minutes of an event are the easiest time to meet people. The room is half empty, nobody has settled into groups, and everyone is looking for someone to talk to. Arriving early also means you can talk to the organiser, who knows who is coming and can introduce you.

If you are nervous, arriving early helps more, not less. Walking into a quiet room is much easier than walking into a loud one.

Where to stand

• Near the entrance, but not in it. You see everyone arrive, and newcomers are often looking for someone to talk to.
• Near the food or drinks, a step away from the queue. People leave the bar with a drink in hand and no conversation yet.
• Not in a corner, and not glued to your phone. Both say "do not disturb".

Hold your drink in your left hand so your right is free and dry for handshakes.

Joining a group: the open two and the closed two

Reading a group before you walk up saves a lot of awkwardness.

• The open two: two people standing at an angle to each other, forming a V with a gap. They are open to a third. Walk into the gap.
• The closed two: two people facing each other squarely, close together, talking intently. Leave them alone for now; they may be mid-deal or mid-confidence.
• The open circle: three or more people with a visible gap. Step into the gap, make eye contact with whoever is speaking, listen for a moment, and join in at a natural pause.
• The closed circle: shoulders together, no gap. Come back later.

What to say as you join:

• "Mind if I join you? I don't know anyone here yet."
• "Is this the group discussing [topic from the talk]? I'd love to hear what you thought."
• "Sorry to interrupt, I've been trying to work out who the organisers are. Is it one of you?"

When you are in a group and someone hovers nearby, return the favour: step back to open the circle and say "Come and join us, we were just talking about...". People remember who let them in.

Your 10-second intro

Your intro has one job: to give the other person something to ask about. Name, what you do in plain words, and one specific hook. Then stop.

For founders:

• "I'm Sam. I run a small company that helps dental practices fill last-minute cancellations. We're about two years in."
• "I'm Priya. I'm building accounting software for freelancers who hate accounting software, which is most of them."

For consultants:

• "I'm Tom. I help manufacturing firms get their data out of spreadsheets and into something they can actually use."
• "I'm Amara. I'm a fractional finance director, so I do the CFO job for start-ups that aren't ready for a full-time one."

For salespeople:

• "I'm Dan. I look after customers in the north for a company that makes warehouse software. Mostly I'm here to learn what's keeping ops people up at night."
• "I'm Grace. I sell training for customer service teams, so if you've ever been on hold for forty minutes, I'm on your side."

If you are between roles:

• "I'm Leo. I spent eight years in product at a payments company and I'm working out what's next, so I'm here to listen more than talk."

For more scripts by role and situation, see how to introduce yourself at a networking event.

Questions that beat "what do you do?"

"What do you do?" is fine, but it invites a rehearsed answer. Better openers:

• "What brought you here tonight?"
• "What are you working on at the moment that you're enjoying?"
• "What's been the most useful thing you've heard today?"
• "Who are you hoping to meet tonight? I might know someone."
• "How do you know the organisers?"
• "What's keeping you busy this month?"

Follow-up questions are where conversations get good: "How did that start?", "What's the hardest part?", "What would make that easier?"

Remembering names

• Say it back straight away: "Nice to meet you, Siobhan."
• Use it once more during the conversation, naturally, not every sentence.
• Check the spelling if you are unsure: "How do you spell that?" Most people would rather be asked than misspelt.
• Link it to something: Tom from Fenwick, who runs the delivery vans.
• Capture it before the next conversation (see the last section).

If you forget, admit it early and lightly: "I'm so sorry, my brain has filed your name somewhere very safe and lost the key. Remind me?" It is far less awkward at minute two than at minute twenty.

Body language

• Face people with your shoulders, not just your head.
• Phone away. In a pocket or bag, not in your hand.
• Nod and react. Short "mm" and "really?" noises show you are listening.
• Keep your hands visible and relaxed. Folded arms read as closed, even when you are just cold.
• Handshake: firm, brief, with eye contact. If someone does not offer a hand, a smile and a nod are fine.
• Step back slightly to let others join.

Drinks

• Alternate alcoholic drinks with water or soft drinks, or skip alcohol entirely. Nobody notices what is in your glass.
• Never feel you need to explain not drinking. "I'm on the sparkling water tonight" is a complete answer.
• Eat something early. Canapés are not dinner.
• If you offer to get someone a drink, ask what they would like rather than assuming alcohol.

Light, kind humour: icebreakers that work

Humour helps people relax and remember you, as long as everyone in the conversation can laugh along. The safest material is yourself, the shared situation, and the event itself.

Self-deprecating

• "I promised myself I'd talk to three new people tonight. You're my first, so no pressure, but you are setting the bar."
• "I've been to the coffee station four times already. At this point I'm less an attendee and more a regular."
• "I wore my lanyard backwards for the whole morning. Nobody said anything, so I've decided it's a power move."
• "I've rehearsed my intro so many times it now sounds like a train announcement. Let me try that again."

Situational

• At the food queue: "Is this the queue for the sandwiches, or the queue to join the queue?"
• About the Wi-Fi: "Has anyone actually got onto the Wi-Fi, or is that tonight's real challenge?"
• About name badges: "I love that everyone's badge is perfectly printed and mine looks like I wrote it on a moving train."
• In a lift: "I'll take the stairs next time. Strictly for the networking opportunities."

About the event itself

• "Show of hands, who's here for the content and who's here for the pastries? I'm openly here for both."
• "I came to a talk about productivity and spent the first ten minutes looking for my notebook. I think I need the follow-up session."
• "Is it just me, or does every event have one room that is the temperature of the surface of the sun?"

When humour works, and when it doesn't

It works when:

• it is about something you all share, such as the queue, the weather or the venue;
• it is aimed at yourself;
• it is quick, and you move on if it does not land.

It does not work when:

• someone is stressed, upset or talking about something serious;
• it relies on wordplay or cultural references some people may not share;
• it is sarcasm that could be read as a complaint about the hosts.

Topics to avoid entirely: politics, religion, anyone's appearance, age, accent or background, any group of people, and anything at the expense of someone in the room. That includes the hosts, the speakers, the catering staff and the AV team. If a joke needs someone to be the butt of it, make it you or skip it.

Leaving a conversation gracefully

Staying too long with one person is the most common reason people meet fewer people than they hoped. After about five to ten minutes, wrap up. The formula: summarise, thank, give a reason, suggest a next step.

• "It's been great hearing about the launch. I promised myself I'd say hello to the speaker before she leaves, but let's connect on LinkedIn."
• "I don't want to monopolise you; there are a lot of people here you should meet. Can I send you that article tomorrow?"
• "I'm going to grab some water. Thanks for the tip about the Leeds meetup, I'll definitely check it out."
• "Can I introduce you to someone? Priya over there is working on exactly the problem you mentioned."

The last one is the best exit of all: you leave, and they gain something.

Follow up on the spot

Before you walk into the next conversation, take thirty seconds to capture the person you just met. Note who they are, how you met, what matters to them and the next step. If you wait until the train home, the details will have blurred into the next nine conversations.

With Shmor, that is one message on Telegram: a photo of their card or badge, a screenshot of their event-app profile, or a voice note such as "Priya Shah, founder of Ledgerly, met at the fintech breakfast, wants an intro to our CTO, follow up Monday". Shmor saves the person and company to ShmorCRM, Attio or HubSpot with a note and a follow-up task, and asks how you met if you did not say. Then put your phone away and go and find conversation number two.

After the event, the 48-hour plan for actioning leads takes it from there.